What Makes A Healthy Relationship?

When we enter into a relationship, we always wish, plan and hope it would last.  Generally, no right person in his right mind would get into a relationship already foreseeing how or when to end it.  That’s because innately as humans, we have strong desires to be loved, accepted and taken cared of by somebody, and at the same time, we also desire to love, accept and care for somebody.

 

But alas, statistics show that more relationships break up than stay together.  How then can you make sure that you don’t belong to just statistics?

 

What makes a healthy relationship? All good relationships have many of the following characteris  This should be a good gauge to know if you have something to worry about in your relationship.

 

Here is the picture of an ideal relationship.  Check how you rate:

  • There is friendship.

 

    • You both have clear expectations of each other and have discussed it in a very realistic manner.
    • You are able to talk about yourselves and not apologize for anything you do or say, or for who you are because there is genuine appreciation of the other person.

 

  • There is respect

 

    • You don’t set out to hurt each other knowingly.
    • You consider the feelings of your partner and how he would react to something you could possibly do or say.

 

  • There is trust.

 

    • You don’t have to second guess your partner’s thoughts or meaning behind his words.
    • You don’t have the urge to check his cell phone messages or emails without him knowing it.
    • You are confident about your partner’s fidelity even when he is put in a trying situation

 

  • There is love and intimacy.

 

    •  It is not just about passion, but also wanting to be together, loving and enjoying each other’s company.
    • There is openness about needs and wants, and there is a greater tendency of giving to make the other happy than demanding for one’s one fulfilment.
    • Learn more from the free report on how you can keep your partner in love with you.

 

 

  • There is life outside the relationship.

 

    • You are not confined to each other, but rather you can freely go out with friends and family, having already set the parameters of your social life apart.  But this aspect of the relationship can only work well if there is trust on each other.

 

  • There is cooperation and shared responsibility.

 

    • You share values and priorities.
    • You are able to give and take, and not rely on just one person to do the task on his own.
    • You are open about your finances and share the responsibility of your way of life.

 

You may have been in a relationship for years, or maybe just months.  These guidelines are not limited to married couples or those who have been together for a long time.

 

Granted that if you are in the early part of your relationship, you may not have the complete picture just yet. You may just be starting on appreciating the friendship and learning more about each other.  Or you may have been together for a long time, and have started to drift apart.  It is good to look back and assess how far you have gone and how far more do you have to go to getting a happy, healthy and fulfilling relationship.

 

So you are done making an assessment and the prospect is not looking well.  You realize there is a lot to work on in your relationship.  How do you even start or where do you even start?

 

You start on yourself.  You should not start by blaming your partner for his faults.  True, he may not be perfect, but you also have to honestly look at yourself and realize that neither are you.  Have an open mind about how you can better your relationship and on what you personally can do to ensure that it would be one that’s happy, healthy and fulfilling.  Sometimes, it just takes a shift in perspective.  You are quick to point his faults, but turning a blind eye and deaf ear on your own.

 

Even in the best of relationships, your partner would not always be so agreeable.  You may have gotten on at the start, but as time goes by, you start having friction and disagreements.  These are but normal, and in fact, are signs of a healthy relationship.  When you both have stopped disagreeing or talking, then there is more cause to worry, because it means you have both given up in trying to make it work.

 

As your partner changes through time and experience, we have to still accept those changes.  It remains a part and parcel of his personality.  It may not have been the personality you fell in love with in the first place, but his capacity to change is an integral part of his person.  While you may not agree, you still have to love.

 

And in loving, you adjust your own sentiments and perspective to accommodate the changes.  But it does not have to be a one-sided thing for one partner.  There should also be a compromise in the changes.  You cannot just decide one day that you will change and expect your partner to swallow it hook, line and sinker.  You should also be sensitive to how these changes affect him, and be willing to give up some aspects of it, especially the ones that are important and valuable to him.

 

For example, your wife values your family dinner and wants all of you to eat together.  However, you have been promoted at work and your work hours have changed and you would not be able to be home for dinner.  What you can probably compromise is at the very least for you to have dinners at home during weekends when you don’t have to work.  These is a simple situation, and one that won’t even be ground for divorce, but it is very real, and these small things are what compose the foundation of the relationship.  At the end of the day, it is not the actual eating together that’s important, but the shared intimacy and the quality time spent together as a family.