How to Regain Trust In a Relationship?
You’ve gotten yourself into quite the pickle – maybe you’ve had an affair, or were caught lying to your partner – but you want to figure out how to regain trust and make amends with your partner. You realize the error of your ways, but this, in and of itself, is just not enough. You need to know the proper steps as to how to regain trust after lying, or worse yet, how to regain trust after cheating. It isn’t impossible to overcome either of these mistakes, but it is a tough and trying road ahead.
If you really love your partner, and wish to figure out how to make things right, there are a few bits of advice you can follow that will help make the process a bit easier. When it comes to how to regain trust in a marriage, or how to regain trust in a relationship, there are no “set in stone” rules that always work, but what follows are some of the most common and proven ways to help earn back your partners trust and get on the path towards rebuilding your relationship.
Accept the Blame and Give Your Partner Time
If you’ve lied or cheated, even if you feel as though your partner in some way helped “drive” you towards doing what you did, never ever say this. No matter if there is any validity to this or not, you are the one the made the ultimate decision to lie or cheat, not your partner. This means that you must accept full blame for what you did, if you really want to make things right.
You cannot make your partner feel guilty or responsible for your actions, you are an adult. And you also cannot expect your partner to get over the hurt, betrayal, or breech in trust they are feeling at the moment. You must understand and accept that you have caused them grief and give them as much time as they need to move past their hurt feelings.
Be Willing to Become An “Open Book”
This is perhaps the hardest, but most vital step when you want to know how to regain trust in your partner. After being found out for being unfaithful or lying, your partner is going to have a hard time trusting you for awhile. Where you used to be able to come and go as you please, with little to no explanation, do not expect this to be the way of the future. It is also important that you do not give your partner grief about this. They have every right to be suspicious, as you have betrayed them in the past, and it will take awhile of your being open and honest for their paranoia to start to die down.
Work to Earn Your Partner’s Trust Again
You cannot just say you are sorry and expect everything to be all right – but an apology, a genuine and heartfelt one, is necessary. It is going to take time, and you are going to have to work to regain your partners trust through following through on your word and making your relationship a priority in your life again.
If you lied to your partner, be willing to be far more open about everything than you used to be, as this will show your partner that you are sharing things with them, rather than hiding them, and this will give them more reason to trust again. Make sure that you actually do what you say you are going to do and don’t think that you can “pull one over” on them again, as you won’t likely get another chance.
If you’ve cheated, this is a bit harder, but you are going to have to show your partner, in no uncertain terms that not only was the affair a mistake, but that it will never happen again. Be prepared for suspicions for awhile, any time you have to have contact with the opposite sex. But be willing to be open, honest, and above board about it all and this will go a long way towards regaining their trust.